Another great find this past week!  Some time back (about 2 years ago) I rented an offbeat movie.  The movie (I don’t remember the name - I have it journalled somewhere) was excellent, spoke to my heart, and the title song just bowled me over.  I replayed the movie credits over and over while I copied the lyrics, spent days singing the song out loud to myself, and tried forever to find the soundtrack, or run down information on the artist.  The famous David Foster was co-writer - but, still, I could find no info leading me to a purchase or download of the music.

Last week, at work, I was cleaning cd racks, restocking, and pulling clearance items.  Lo and behold!  What did I find obscurely stuck behind a stack of value item cd’s and on my clearance list — a cd by Kendall Payne, the artist I’d been searching for.  Now, mind you, the particular song I want is not on this recording.  But, what a find!  The songs are terrific, just off beat enough to not be Christian mainstream but spiritual and in tune with a real God nonetheless, just my cup of tea!  And, all for $.70!!!  I’m hoping to eventually find more music by this artist.

Kendall Payne - artist    ‘Grown’ - cd title   check it out if you can find it — I haven’t searched youtube yet — maybe she’s there!  Worth your time if you care to search!

Madeleine L’Engle is one of my favorite authors.  Everything she writes encompasses thought, science, mathematics, God, space, time, emotions, relationships, concepts, ideaology, aging, growing, morals, ethics, you name it.

Books I’ve read by her:  The Austins; Starfish; A Wrinkle in Time (the trilogy and it’s two sequels); The Summer of the Great Grandmother; A Circle of Quiet; The 24 Days Before Christmas; and others.  Most recently I completed reading “Certain Women” (I know books should be underlined but I can’t find that tool on this blasted site!).  I knew it to be fiction but didn’t preview long enough to realize it is a modern story of a family and their parallel to King David and his passle of wives and children!

I just completed a 5 novella set of books about 5 unlikely women of the bible (of which one was Bathsheba) by Francine Rivers and, so, I thought I was deviating away from biblical content for a bit by choosing a not-so-typical author.  Ha! Fooled again, but ever so delightful.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who has ever stuck through the trials of being human in a family unit, and, as well, for those who have not!  That should just about cover anyone!  You will find yourself somewhere in this story, be it good or bad, matters not.  It’s a bit challenging to read in that the author takes you at any given moment from the present to the past and into the future through the eyes of one central character living in the present but also working as an actress.  So, not only are you, the reader required to keep up with timeline relevance, but, as well, with scene changes - from life to stage - and capture the relevance therein.

I loved it.  Some probably won’t but that’s okay.  Just don’t forget, someday you will probably read this book and, then, you will remember…I told you so!!!

I checked it out from the library - you can too!

LOL…I just thought of an old song that was fun to sing..

“Another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody…

I got some money ’cause I just got paid…

How I wish I had someone to talk to…

I’m in an awful way!

lallalalalalalala la la”…can’t remember the rest

but mom and I used to make up silly lyrics

and that was fun.  It made Karen laugh and that was fun.

I wonder if Karen can remember.  I can see her now .. if I asked her …

she’d shake her head and giggle and say … “cyn .. thi .. uhhhhhh”

LOL.

Well, this isn’t what I was going to write about .. but it’s good enough … a good memory in  hand is worth two intentions in thought … LOL … I just made that up … oh yes… I’m good … ooh ooh ooh

Okay..I’m bored but at least I’m creatively bored.

I’m going to watch Law & Order that I recorded while I was gone to work!  Ha! I mastered the tv again!  Then, I’m going to sleep and if I can’t sleep, I’ll read for awhile.  I plan on going to church in the morning so I do hope I can sleep tonight.

Just another day in the neighborhood!  But, what a beautiful day it is outside my window.  I woke early this morning (5:30 am - good grief!) and went outside to a hill country morning.  The sun was just rising around 6:30 am and the sky was orange and pink, with only patches of light blue showing through billowing white clouds rolling across the sky.  The breeze was definitely a warm Texas breeze but a breeze nonetheless and the smell of the hills aromated my walk.  It leaves me feeling connected and alone at the same time.  And, again, my emotions are filled with longing for my folks and home.

Enough of that!  I went back inside and did my 10-minute Pilates workout — only in private for now!  I can only complete half of each exercise - awful!  My legs are strong and my arms are strong - but my core (abs) is not strong at all!  Which is the reason I’m utilizing pilates — to strengthen my core.  HaHaHa - this girl on the video can pull herself into a backwards flip — that’s what I am SUPPOSED to be able to do!  That will be a miracle!!!  I am working on it — just not in public!!!

Well, I’m off to do some reading, waiting for Royce and the kids to come by.  We’re having donuts (shhhhh…don’t tell my pilates instructor) this morning when they drop by my Angel Food order for this month.  It’ll be fun to have them over for a bit, then, I’m off to work for the day. 

Work is going well.  It just doesn’t pay enough and I’m still looking for either a higher paying job or a second job to supplement.  I made a $500 sale yesterday…the biggest one I’ve ever made.  Just wish it was for myself and my family rather than for corporate America — oh well — maybe something good will come from it for us - one can always keep hoping.

I should take a picture of my black eye!  If I could find my camera, I would.  It really isn’t that bad,,,it’s more green than anything but starts at the hairline over my right eye, travels down into my brow and the side of my face just below my eye, right to the cheekbone.  I had a great time swimming with the boys and Claire on Monday except that I connected with Claire’s foot as I took a quick dive under the water just when she had decided to do one of her famous “cannonball fwips” took a pretty good kick in the head!  Lucky for me, my head is hard (LOL) and Claire’s foot survived.  I can cover it up with makeup but it sure is sore to touch…no brushing on that side for a day or two!  That little princess packs a powerful kick! 

I wish I had pictures of her and Hannah swimming.  They look like little dolphins in the water.  We sure have a lot of fun when they come over to the pool.  Mondays are my favorite day of the week!

I found a Pilates training tape on my bookshelf!  Long forgotten and never used!!! LOL!  Anyway, I have been wanting to go to pilates class at the health club but just haven’t made time (and because I’m a little intimidated by all the ’skinnys’ I see frequenting that class!).  So, I found this VHS tape and decided I would try a bit of pilates on my own.  I mean, it’s just stretching, right?  How hard can it be?  LOL…in the opening remarks, the instructor just ‘mentions’ in her list of dos and don’ts that if you should feel soreness in any muscles, you should let up on that particular move for a day and let your muscle rebuild before attempting that exercise again.  Okay.  That’s cool.

So, the workout is 10 minutes in length.  I barely am able to complete any one exercise and today…my abs are SORE!  I didn’t do pilates today.  Maybe tomorrow.  LOL!

Summer solstice arrived along with a beautiful, full Texas moon.  I think two days ago was the official longest day of the year timewise.  I stood on my deck and watched the stars pop out long after regular daylight faded away.  The summer air drifts over the hills and I miss mom and dad.  I remember sitting outside and watching the deer eat the pears from the trees, standing at the top of the hill at night and talking with dad about the infinty of things, holding hands with mom on the porch in quiet afternoons watching her beloved birds flitter around the porch.  The hill country is where I belong.  Someday I’ll get back there.  I’m on the edges now. I can see the hills from my apartment.  Someday I’ll go home and walk the road by the river, where the air brings sleep and rest, where the hills know my name, where darkness brings peace instead of angst.  I’ll buy an old truck and grow a garden and have the grandkids visit for a week at a time and stay quiet watching my own kids wonder just what it is that the grandkids see in me.  The summer nights make me melancholy.  But, soon, it will be way too hot to enjoy the summer nights and I’ll retreat indoors along with the rest of the world and wait for summer days to end.  I wonder what I’ll dream about then.

I haven’t been posting any blogs lately.  I have been writing, but, for some unremembered reason, I didn’t publish what I’ve written because I thought I might go back and edit the posts first.  LOL…well, I’m not sure that’s going to work for me!  Apparently, I’m an out of sight out of mind kind of girl!

No, seriously, though.  I do have several posts that I hope to complete over the next week.  Blogging has been really good for me to dispel the bombardment of thought that goes on in my brain.  It’s just been a long, semi-tiring two weeks.  I don’t know if it’s the onset of summer or not — probably.  Changing seasons affect me more than I usually admit or pay attention to…but, now, with the empty nest around me, I have more time to think about such things and to blog about them —boring or not!

Empty nest is one of the things I want to write about.  Work is another.  Purpose another.

You know, I am lonely, but I’m also content.  It’s weird.  Sometimes I don’t know myself in the mirror anymore.  I’m changing.  Phsically.  I might even make friends with this older woman in the mirror.  Who knows.  It was so nice to have the boys spend the night on Monday.  They were asleep (as was I) by 10:30pm.  I never go to sleep before midnight and mostly even then I have to force myself to do so.  But, just their presence made me feel not so alone and the house (apt) comfy and homey.  It was really nice to hear them sleeping in the night and to see them stirring in the morning light.  They are such good boys.

Anyway, I’m going to blog about some of that kind of stuff in a few days.  Maybe on Sunday…if I’m off work..oh, I hope so.  I do so like being home on Sundays.

Well, just got home from work tonight and have an early day tomorrow so I’m off to bed and hopefully to close my eyes and sleep.  I’m reading a really good book right now so we’ll see who wins out…the sand man or the author…

 What a fun Mother’s Day!  Thanks guys!