Okay. So, recently, I’ve been a little stressed due to an illness that’s been difficult to identify, treat and deal with. I’ve been tired but still had to keep up somewhat of a strenuous work pace. And, then, some of my family members also got sick. Of course this all happens when school is just starting both for mom and kids, as well as, the upcoming holiday weekend for which we are planning a campover at my place, you name it, it all happened at once. And, all this, not discounting the fact that one of the key personnel where I work was on two week vacation, thereby, throwing all scheduled shift and job assignments into a tipsy, turmoil trying to cover everything.
Anyway, we all forged ahead and kept attending to daily tasks. One of mine was to get my television situation settled and in place just in case the boys and I were well enough to proceed with our campover weekend at my apartment. I attempted once during the week to interpret the manuals as to what coaxial cables I needed, router box hook ups, power strips, etc. etc. to connect my tv, dvd player, vcr player and antenna (since I’m stubborn and refuse to pay for cable tv). I already had a small router – but, I just couldn’t figure out how to get everything connected correctly so as to actually have a picture on the tv! My initial visit to WalMart resulted in wrong purchases except for one item which did, in fact, work on the small tv in my bedroom. (I don’t need two tv’s, but for some reason, God has blessed me with two and, so, it is my intent to maximize the use of what I have and make available age appropriate activities for the varying age groups I entertain!) After all, he boys will only tolerate so much “my little pony” and the girls can’t just watch the boys play games. Not that we only do those things when they visit, but, when it’s hot, or after we’ve been swimming, it’s a good quiet down, relax time.
At any rate, back to my story. So, Royce agrees to come with me to WalMart one night to help me get all the right connectors and, then, hopefully, back to my apartment to hook everything up. I head straight from work at 6 pm to pick up Royce. We head out to the WalMart close to my apartment so we can coordinate the purchasing and the hooking up. We head to the store first because being the smart person I am, I actually thought to just bring the manuals with me so we can pick out the right equipment. Right. After perusing the electronic items, Royce decides (rightly so) that we really need to look at all my equipment to make sure we are interpreting the needs and instructions correctly. At the same moment, I remember that I want to purchase my converter boxes as well and the coupons (from the governtment – what about this bothers me immensely – I mean, just the fact that the government is issuing coupons to help us all convert to digital tv in 2009 should send up all sorts of red flags to the American citizen – shouldn’t it?). Anyway, my coupons were at home and so off we go to my apartment. Even though it’s getting late and I’m famished and tired and I know Royce needs to get home, I’m excited because everything seems to be coming together to get this task completed! I think it’s around 9pm or so at this point. I grab my coupons and stick them in my purse.
So, Royce and I head back to my apartment, check everything out, figure out what I need and how to hook it up. We head back to Royce’s so he can go home and I can pick up my car. I head once more back to WalMart, confident. It’s now around 10 pm. I arrive at WalMart and head straight back to electronics. I find all the pieces I need exactly as Royce described. Hooray! Success! Then, I remembered I was going to go ahead and purchase the converter boxes. The boxes sell for $49.99 and the government coupons are $40 so, the cost is only $9.99 per box. Cool. I try not to think about being in cahoots with the government. Too scary. Anyway.
I start looking over the converter box instructions and I realize that I don’t actually NEED all the pieces that I just spent 30 more minutes picking out. The converter box will actually completely do the trick. I only need one 3 colored pronged cord double ended for my one independent VCR and I’m done! Wow – too cool! So, I head up to checkout, stand in line, the checker rings me up, and, of course, what next — I can’t find my coupons anywhere. Luckily, there’s no one behind me, and the checker is very patient (she’s getting off duty) and promises me that the girl next to her in the next checkout lane will hold these items for me while I run back to my blasted apartment and the coupons that somehow in the back of my mind are in my hand but not in my hand and obviously must be lying on the table where I absentmindedly, tiredly, must have left them. Sigh. So, I head out to the parking lot to my car, get in, turn on the car, reach over to set my purse down, and, VOILA!, there are the missing coupons lying right in the passenger seat where I really left them. Oh brother. Okay. Yes, I remember, I read them carefully before I came back to WalMart and set them down on the seat instead of in my purse. Okay. That’s cool. At least I found them and didn’t drive all the way back to my apartment first. It’s all still good. Back inside. The greeter grins and says “Welcome Back” aarrgghhh — is he laughing at me?
The checker sees me coming and says, “Wow, that was a fast trip!” We laugh. She checks me out. I turn to leave and realize that I have needed to go to the bathroom since leaving work earlier at 6pm but haven’t stopped long enough to do so. I say good night to the checker and head off to the restroom. The woman who was originally going to check me out, hasn’t gotten off duty yet and is in front of the restrooms putting away baskets/carts. She smiles. I go into the bathroom which is deserted because it’s so late and rush to the farthest stall.
Why is it when you go into a public restroom that’s empty, the next person coming in has to choose the stall right next to you? Have you ever noticed that? It bugs me. I mean the last thing I want to do in a restroom is go potty right next to someone. I mean, seriously, there are other empty stalls not next to me. Sigh. Oh well. Then, I look down, and as the person’s feet shuffe, I think, (a not very nice thought I know), Why do women have to wear men’s shoes? — I mean we have so many comfortable shoes now, why do some women insists on wearing men’s shoes? I don’t know why I think this. It really doesn’t matter to me what anyone else wears. I think I’m just tired and it’s the first time I’ve slowed down off my feet since 6 am that day and it was just a random thought floating through my head.
I finish my business, grab my package and purse and head out to the sink area to wash my hands. Then, and only then, do I notice the urinals on the right. I think, wow, WalMart’s going unisex, Oh well, good for those moms with little boys who can’t go into the public restroom alone. All of these sentences are running together, flashing through my brain, my hands are wet, I panic. I hear the other toilet flush and I realize. I’m in the men’s restroom. Yes, I have entered no woman’s land, oblivious to anything around me, except getting to the privy before I have an accident. I realize, the person in the stall next to me had on man’s shoes because it is a man. I realize the urnials are for the men, not for the convenience of little mothers with little boys. I sling the water rapidly from my fingers splattering it all over the mirror (I’m really sorry but, hey…) forego the towel, rush to the exit and swing my hips around the cement divider wall just as I hear the stall door behind me open and close. I can only pray and hope that this man who had to have the stall next to me doesn’t see me, acknowledge me or worse laugh out loud!
As I exit, the checker is there. She looks up and takes a deep sigh and then begins to giggle. “A fitting end, for a fitting day, huh?!?”, she declares. I smile back at her, trying to escape quickly and I retort — I’m at least glad you got a good laugh to end your day with and I know who will be the topic of conversation around here for the next hour! I’ll probably never see you again since I probably will never come back in here again — it was nice to meet you – have a nice night!” She laughs and wishes me a safe journey home.
I had to sit in the car for some time because I couldn’t stop laughing at myself. However, I am glad to say, when I got home, in less than 15 minutes, all my electronics were working … and, I have a router and extra coaxial cable which when I tell Royce, he proudly states – “Cool, I’ll buy it from you for our bedroom TV!” LOL! All’s well that ends well – I wouldn’t sell it to him though – I gave it to him gladly – ! I may not know which bathroom is correct but I have now successfully taken one more technological step forward for independent womanhood — whatever!
I know, it’s silly. But it was soooooo sooooo funny!
